Cultural Musings · Open Letters

Kiss My Grass

Dear Grass,

You have been an advantageous distraction.

On the soccer field, I would sit on you and pick you to help time fly by. I often neglected my position as a goalie as the 7-year-olds would scramble in a writhing mass on the opposite end. My parents and coach would yell to catch my attention, but you were so tantalizing. The soft snap you make when I pull you from the earth reminds me of snapping a green pea.

You have been an entertainment feature.

I revel in your cushiness while I’m in the Quad. When the warmth of the sun comes ‘round, you gleam in a fresh, spring green color. I soak in the sun while your freshly-mowed blades tickle my toes. When I’m bored, I make jewelry out of you or use you as a tickle weapon on my friend’s necks. If I’m feeling mischievous, I would make a crown from you and pretend it’s thorns atop my head.

You’re also disgusting sometimes.

You always have dirt on yourself and you hold onto water too long. I feel like you get off at making my pants wet. You always have bugs on you. Why don’t you use bug spray every once in awhile? You’re so temperamental too. You take a shower and you’re even dirtier. You dry up and then you look like a balding man’s head.

However, you are a haven, an oasis, a paradise in my urban environment when so little of you can be found.

– Kiss my Grass


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